That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm having to shit out rocks
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