shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
