My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
