your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
