this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
