Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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