omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
