That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
