I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he shaved USA in his pubs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
