i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
