You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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