i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
