I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
