i may or may not be watching the land before time
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
