I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
