He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
