redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
