so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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