would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
