My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
