Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
