there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
