i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize