whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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