Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
