Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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