My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
