Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
