i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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