My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize