I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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