Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
barbara walters just said penis...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
