He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize