I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
