the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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