i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
