the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I party with great urgency now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
tell me about the eggs
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