she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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