His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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