OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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