There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
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