i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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