My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
