Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
