Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
