kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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