I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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