This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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