In the future we'll all be gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
