a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
